Pregnancy for me didn’t start the way we always see it begin in the movies. The woman suddenly waking up, rushing to the restroom and vomiting her life away or being at work or casual restaurant and suddenly vomiting projectile-style and sometimes violently all over the place. Vomiting , vomiting , vomiting. That’s pregnancy right?
For me, our planned pregnancy began in November just a bit before Thanksgiving. Granted, at this time I had no idea I was pregnant yet, it took about 5 weeks for us to finally say, “ok ok we are taking a test.”
First, it was our conception in which afterwards my husband nonchalantly said, ”Yeah, you’re not getting your period this month.” Followed by me, rolling my eyes surely knowing I wasn’t pregnant yet. No one gets pregnant on their first try anymore right? Especially not married couples in their early thirties when ”everything goes downhill” . These were the thoughts racing through my head as my first ovulation cycle came and went and we shared stories of our friends, some who had still births, some who had ectopic pregnancies that resulted in ruptures and loss of Fallopian tubes, and others – the majority of them- who had spent the last 1-3 years trying to get pregnant with no luck. We even came across a couple our age who had been trying their entire 8 year marriage and hadn’t conceived one time. And here we are, doing the do the marital way for the first time in our entire 8 year relationship. Surely I wasn’t pregnant yet.
I was hit by a sudden cramping and fatigue I usually get right before my cycle is due to start. The cramping was milder but the sleepiness lasted a few days before I got a spurt of energy back. Thanksgiving day came around. I made Baked mac and cheese, a rustic apple pie, Pot roast in the instant pot with Modelo, cabbage, corn bread, Mashed potatoes, and my husbands honey glazed chicken thighs. Somehow I was eating way more than him. I’m not into pot roast but I was into it that day although it was my first crack at making it. Four plates tucked away easily. Not sleepy, still hungry. Typically I have one full plate at thanksgiving and I’m down for a nap. Not that day. The next week I made my husbands favorite shredded chicken nachos complete with sour cream , pickled jalapenos, green onion, tomatoes etc. The next morning at 4am, he found me in the kitchen staring at the jar of jalapenos.
”I really want to eat these right now,” I say mesmerized by the thought of it.
”Go ahead.” He said. ”Do what you have to do.”
Not long after that moment, maybe a day or two later, I woke up with the biggest boobs ever. So sore and full of veins. A few days after that in the shower, something inspired me to look down if you know what I mean and there was a ton of discharge I had never seen in in my life. I’m sure I had a “yikes” look on my face. ”Yep I’m pregnant. Theres no denying it now- he was right.”
December 7, 2021 we went to Right Aid, grabbed a pack of 2 True Blues and it gave me a big plus sign before I was even done peeing on the stick. There was no letting it marinate and then asking ”is there a line? I think thats a line.” It was screaming “PREGNANT! PREGNANT!” Full and dark before my stream was even complete. The Husband was napping when I took the test so I tapped my stomach, smiled, told the baby hello. Asked them if they were doing ok in there, stuck the test in a zip loc bag and placed it in my closet until he woke up. After he woke up we were on the bed talking about something and I casually went into the closet and put the test in my pocket. And while we were talking I said, ”Well congratulations! You are gonna be a Papa Bear.”
From there we were so excited yet too nervous to be excited because of the miscarriage risks and how easy it hadn’t been for the people we know around us.
Because our primary care wasn’t getting back to us until the 2nd trimester, we found a free faith-based clinic that provides free limited ultrasounds to check viability and health of the growing embryo. And when I saw these images pop up on my screen during the transvaginal ultrasound, it was the most emotional moment of my life. The baby was so active already, kicking around and waving its little arms in my womb. I cried and screamed ”omg” and how worried I was about it. It was a healthy little being that we conceived quickly. The heart rate was close to 170 and measured exactly to the date I said. I just couldn’t believe it. Although everyone knows how babies are made and what happens, I don’t think It would have ever not felt miraculous seeing one growing inside of me.
And I hadn’t vomited once.